Monday, November 24, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008

Hold On

I'm feeling something different.
In this life I've gone through stages where I don't feel the Lord's presence.
Or maybe I do feel, but I am not aware.
The coolest thing is to feel His presence.
To quiet myself. Look inside.. there He is. He dwells inside.
He is more near than I think. He is more interested than I think.
He is more determined than I think. He desires to constantly be near.
But too often I get so caught up in the mess of my human independence.
Thinking that I am strong enough. I can do this on my own.
When deep down inside my true heart longs for is a constant companion.
Someone to sit down with and share my heart who feels compassion and cares.
I was reading this morning Romans 8.

Hope that is seen is no hope at all.
Why do we hope for something we already have?
The things we do not have and that we hope for, we wait for them patiently.

Later on in the chapter Paul talks about how we are MORE than conquers in Christ.

I am more than a conqueror in Christ because He loves me. There is not one thing
that can separate me from His love and His presence. Paul starts giving examples such as death nor life, nor angels or demons can separate us from His love. But the biggest thing that stood out to me was "neither the present nor the future" can separate us from His love.

Nearness is all I am waiting for.
Just like the watchmen wait for dawn.
I will wait Lord.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Where I belong

Abba's Child.

That is the core truth of my existence.

So just for the record, the Lord has been doing radical
changes in my heart in these past few months.

This is a big deal!
I finally have found where I belong.
I belong in His presence. In His will. In His hands.
No matter what our physical surroundings tell us.
No matter what the future holds, or what the past has recorded.
I am learning that I would rather be in the valley
in His will
changing than in an "easy" place.

The most radical demand of the Christian faith is to say "yes" to the present.
Our life as Christians is lived more in the valley than on the mountaintop.
Faith is NEVER doubt-free. The surest way we can know God, is as utterly unknowable.
He is beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine!!!

The present sometimes may feel like we are walking in utter darkness.
Not being able to see the faintest silhouette of anything.
It is in these valleys, times of utter darkness, if we allow Him, our Heavenly father is able to show himself in the most powerful of ways.

More fruit is able to be gathered in the valley rather than on top of the mountain.

But don't get me wrong.

Those mountaintop moments are so rewarding.
As human beings it is when we can physically see the fruit of God's faithfulness.
We want to tell the whole world!

But here is the challenge.

Why can't we be just as excited in the valley as we are on the moutaintop?

"Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of the soul is aborted".
Brennan Manning

To be thankful in the toughest of times is completely contrary to what our human nature says to do.
This is something the Lord is walking me through.
To rejoice in His love no matter what the circumstance takes a lot from within.

I don't have anything strength!!!

But it is then the Lord comes in and flood our spirits with His strength, His love, His wisdom, and hold us tight. He loves to save us. Everyday.

Too often I try to go about on my own. I tell myself to be strong. Hold it in. Move forward.


It is in these moments, the Lord has us right where we belong.
In his arms, surrendered, broken, thanking Him for his grace and mercy.
It is in the valley where we grow. It is on the mountaintop we expose the new.
It is on the mountaintop we rejoice!!

In the mean time, I will thank him for the transformation He is doing in my heart. I will rejoice for I am becoming more like Christ. I will be thankful for the circumstance because it is preparing
me for my calling.